


Sweetcheeks

by wannabuyahotcat



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, F/M, Sans is a Creep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 08:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12955296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannabuyahotcat/pseuds/wannabuyahotcat
Summary: You work as a waitress at a semi-popular bar/bistro/steakhouse in the outer suburbs of Ebott. One that a rude, abrasive skeleton monster decides is the perfect place to bring potential one-night-stands and hook ups to try and impress them by buying from the 'expensive' menu. (Spoiler alert; it's not at all expensive.)Over the weeks and weeks of watching him fail over and over trying to pick up, you get to know him, leading to one fateful evening when he asks you;"ya doin' anyone- heh, i mean anythin' later, sweetcheeks?"





	Sweetcheeks

The first time you had served him, he had leered at your chest and called you sweetheart. You hadn't even read off the menu yet and you were already wanting to put distance between you and him. "... Excuse me?"

"didn't know this place had such cute waitresses, would'a left my bird where i found 'er."

Looking across the table, you did notice there was a purse and a cropped jacket sitting on the surface. Oh, so this creep was there with someone, and he was hitting on you while she was gone? Ew.

"Uh.. I don't think your girlfriend will be too pleased to know that you're flirting while she's gone."

He shrugged. "eh, just grabbed her fer a quickie tonight before i have t' go t' work. ya got any mustard, love?"

Okay. Gross. You really didn't want to know about his sex life. You just wanted to take his order and get the hell away. "Uhh.. Sure? Do you wanna order now, or?"

"nah, i'll wait til' she gets back. well, hop to it, sweetcheeks." He glared at you again, his creepy eyelights flicking up and down your apron. You felt so violated.

"I'll be back in a moment with your mustard."

You turned tail and walked off towards the bar, feeling what you could only assume was his eyes on your backside. It was bad enough having to work in the shit-hole after 6pm, let alone being surrounded by creeps like him. You'd asked the cook staff for a bottle of the yellow condiment and began to dread your trek back over. Well, hopefully his 'friend' would be back so you wouldn't have to deal with more gross 'flirting'. Hell, would that stop him? He didn't seem to have that high of an opinion on the poor girl as it was.

You grit your teeth and made your way back, plopping the bottle onto the table. The girl was back, and boy howdy did she look a right mess. You could only assume he had literally just picked her up.

"Here's your mustard, sir. Did you want to order now?"

He grabbed the bottle, pulling the stopper and taking a huge swig. Holy hell you could feel the bile start to rise in your throat at the sight, made even worse by him somehow getting the stuff on his teeth. Hurk.

"thanks, doll. eh, reckon we can go fer a couple a pasta bowls"

"But Sansy!" The woman spoke up. "You said I could have the steak."

Wow, the look he gave her really put forward his opinion on her, even if his words didn't make it entirely crystal clear.

"i'm already payin' ya a fuckin' mint t' fuck ya. if ya want th' steak, buy it ya damn self."

Woooooow.

Also, 'Sansy'? Pfft.

"two pasta bowls, unless moneycunt 'ere wants the steak. i ain't payin' fer it." He spat, turning in his seat to face you.

With him sat like that, the girl had the perfect target for her bag and you had a great view of the proceedings. You had to grip your face to stop the shriek of laughter, as you watched her clock him right in the back of the skull with it and storm off.

"ah, fuck! christ, th' fuck is 'er problem? god damn.."

Had you not been working, you would have told him exactly and in great detail, but here you were not wanting to possibly lose your income. "I don't know.. D-did you still want to order?"

"pfft, yeah. i'll get the ste- ah, fuck! i fuckin' payed 'er up front, didn' i? fuck m' life.."

"... Pasta?"

He turned back to the table, slumping forward with his head on his arms.

"... yeah, a'right."

After that, the mug was always around somewhere. Most of the time with a girl (or two?) in tow. Most of the time he left by himself afterwards. It was getting to a point where it was beyond comical, and kind of coasting into 'sad and pathetic' territory.

Not saying it wasn't already, because it was.

There was one evening a few weeks into him becoming a regular you remember, if only because he was actually successful at courting some poor woman. You wont forget what happened very quickly.

You had walked over to his table to find him alone, but the presence of a woman's jacket and purse on the table at least told you she was still hanging around.

"Anything else I can get you tonight, Sans?" You asked in your sweet, customer service voice, but it broke when you suddenly realised what was happening. He looked up at you with glazed over eyes, his smile lazy. The movement under the table had you gasping and irate.

"In the restaurant? Oi, you, get out from under there. There are kids around, for f-hell's sake! Sans, can't you keep it in your pants until you get home? At least?"

The look he gave you was one off pure spite, seeing as you had ruined his good time. The woman seemed apologetic at least, and she did end up leaving with him. Whether or not he managed to 'score' or not, you really didn't want to think about.

Once again, he had left mustard all over the table. Ugh.

More time passed, night after night more floozies sat with the short skeleton man as he tried numerous different things to impress them enough to want to sleep with him. Numerous times you'd had to remind him that it was a family restaurant, even later in the evenings.

It was a week or so later, where you realised that Sans was coming in for dinner more and more without a escort. He sat alone at his usual table, just eating and drinking. Of course he was still giving you hell, but there was no holding back now that he had no girlies to impress. You realised how much they actually softened the blow of his skeeviness.

Ugh, don't think about the word blow and Sans..

That face was burned into your retinas now.

The rest of the servers had at some point unanimously decided that he was your problem, so you were stuck serving him. Yay for you?

"Sans, did you wanna order something? You've been pretty quiet tonight."

He looked up at you, his smile still there, but nowhere near it's usual shiftiness. He seemed.. Down?

"ey, sweets.. nah, maybe jus' another bottle a mustard an' i'll be good." He went back to looking at the table, one of his fingers tracing the faux-wood pattern. "not feelin' hungry."

"Alright, but i'm pretty sure the boss is thinking of starting to charge you for them. I wish I was joking." You added at the smirk he sent you, which seemed to extinguish it.

"heh, figures."

"I'll be right back." You gave him one last look over, before scurrying off to the kitchen. Geez, you were actually starting to worry about him. This was pretty out of sorts for him.

By the time you came back to the table, he seemed a lot more chipper, even giving you his usual wink and pet name as you slid the mustard across to him. "ta, sweetcheeks."

"Are you alright, Sans? You seem a bit less pervy than usual?" You asked, leaning down against the table so that you were level with him. "Got something on your mind?"

For a moment, you could swear you saw a glint in the bottoms of his eyesockets, but it was gone as soon as he moved closer, pinning you with what he might have though was a charming smile. "ya prob'ly ain't wanna know what's on my mind righ' now, sugartits."

Standing again, you threw your arms up into the air with a huff. "Trying to be nice to you, you little cretin. Ugh, why did I bother."

You had started on your walk back to the kitchens when he called for you, making you turn on the spot with a not-so-kind glare. "What, Sans?"

He slipped his arm up, resting his skull on it as he sent you a look you couldn't quite decipher.

"ya doin' anyone- heh, i mean anythin' later, sweetcheeks?"

If you could see the static buzz between the both of you. "E-excuse me? You did not just ask what I thought you asked, did you?"

"depends, what d'ya think i asked?" His eyes trailed up and down your form, and like a shelled egg on a hotplate, you cracked.

"GET OUT!"

His eyesockets shot open, the pinpoints of light shrunk down to barely a glimmer. "wh-what? doll, ya ain't serio-"

"I am SICK of you and your absolutely revolting behavior. Leave. NOW!"

You stood pointing to the front doors, most of the restaurant watching as the skeleton monster looked around, completely mortified. "oh, s-so tha's how it is, eh?"

"Yeah.."

You kept your resolve, even at the hurt look he gave you as he shrugged his hood up over his skull and hopped down from the seat, hunched over with his hands in his pockets as he left. He pulled open the glass door, looking back at you still standing, now with your arms crossed over you chest, before he let out a derisive snort and stepped out into the cold. The door jingled, and then slammed, and he was gone.

"Too right, finally got that filthy little pervert outta here." Another server came over to mumble at your shoulder. "You alright? Did he do something to you?"

You found yourself staring out into the dark street, feeling like the lowest scum on earth. "N-no.. He was just being inappropriate. Uh, I gotta go.."

You finally managed to pull your eyes away from the door to wander up into the back of the restaurant, the sounds of chattering and gossip filling your ears as you escaped to one of the empty backrooms. Why did you feel so god damned terrible for kicking him out. It was something you always told yourself you needed to do, but now that all was said and done?

Sure, he was a creep, but did he really deserve that? To be called out in front of all those other people?

Maybe?

No. No, he didn't, and you felt like shit for it.

Welp, all you could do now was get back to work, and hope that he would eventually come back so you could apologise. Would.. Would he ever come back? If it was you, you would never even give the place another second glance.

Hhmph.

Finally you resigned, picking yourself back up and putting on your best customer service smile for the last few hours you were stuck there. Maybe you could actually make some tips tonight. That thought cheered you up.

***

Done. You threw your apron up into your nook and called it a day. Well, a night. It was past 9 and cold outside, and you were so looking forward to curling up in front of your heater with a cuppa and some crappy TV. That was sounding so good right now.

Your car was parked in the back, empty lot turned parking area for the employees of the restaurant. It was pretty dark out, no streetlights able to shine into the space from the street. Usually this was no biggie for you, but something was eating at you as you walked over to your car. It almost felt as if someone was watching you. Ugh.

"heya."

"AAYIIEEE!"

You screamed, throwing yourself into a defensive stance as Sans walked close enough that you could see him. "Don't fucking sneak up on me like that!"

He shrugged, his hands in the pockets of his heavy jacket, the lights of his eyes bright enough to light up his face in the dark. "heh, didn't mean t' make ya shit yerself. was jus' sayin' hello.."

You were about ready to berate him, until you remembered how you had ejected him before. "Hey, Sans, sorry for being so harsh before.. I shouldn't have done that. You didn't deserve it."

He seemed.. Surprised?

"uh, w-well, uh.. wasn' expectin' ya t' apologise fer tha'. i was kinda outta line. ya dun have t' say sorry."

"No, but I do." You stated, before you realised something. "Sans, that was 3 hours ago, why are you still out here hiding in the da- wait.." You stepped back a few feet, looking down at him. "Were you waiting for me?"

Okay, so he was blushing, or what you assumed was a blush as his cheekbones lit up red.

"heh, actually.. i was? no' fer nuthin' skeevy, mind ya, i jus'.." He looked away, his hand gripping the back of his neck as he sighed. "there was a reason i asked if ya was doin' anythin' later."

"Oh, really?" You said with a little more venom than you really meant to, correcting yourself as you coughed. "Uh, why?"

Again with the shrugging. "i 'unno, wanna grab summat t' eat n head back t' yers? maybe watcha movie n' crash?"

You observed him for a moment, trying to make sense of the current situation. He was pretty much inviting himself over to your house, and you weren't sure if you were okay with that.

"Why can't we go to yours instead?" You asked, and he seemed to flinch slightly.

"uh, j-jus' thought yers would be more fun. i ain't really got much.."

"I'm sorry Sans, but do you really think I'm going to just let you into my home after everything? You may not have deserved to be berated in front of all those people, but it doesn't mean I'm not going to call you out on being a creepy pervert, because you are. Go home, Sans.

You went to turn around, listening to him trip over his words. "bu' ha', uh, ya sure ya ain't got a place fer li'l ol' me? i-i'll behave, i swear!"

"Go ho-"

"I AIN'T GOT ONE!"

You stopped, gripping your carkeys tight against the palm of you hand, in some kind of shock. Did he just say..

A loud sniff finally made you turn around, and your heart almost cracked in two. He was crying, his eyesockets pouring silent tears as he looked to you with desperation in his hard myrthless smile.

"i a-ain't got one no mo', a'right.."

"Sans.."

"my bro got sick'a me an turfed me months ago, an' th' place i was in kicked me out 'cause i can't keep up wi' th' rent. i been on the' streets fer a week now, an' las' night some fucker stole all th' stuff i had. i ain't got no money, or nuthin.."

He folded in on himself, let out a pathetic sounding hiccup.

"i ain't strong enough' t' survive ou' here. i-i'm gonna fuckin' die in a gutter somewhere an' no-one gives a shit!"

Wow.. Okay. You really, REALLY hoped he wasn't lying. That would be a really shitty thing to lie about.. No, he may be a gross little turd, but he wasn't that much of an arsehole. You believed him.

"Sans?"

You slowly walked over to him, kneeling down so that your faces were level. He was so short for a guy with such a deep voice.

"What do you wanna eat?"

His eyes lit up, a genuine happiness beaming through. Yeah, he was legit, and it just made you feel even worse.

"ya m-mean it?" He snorted, wiping the hole where his nose would have been with the sleeve of his jacket. If he had snot, it would have been covered. "i-i'll make it up t' ya! I swear!"

You sighed, smiling at him before pulling his hood down over his face. "Get your boney butt in the car."

Well, you'd never seen him move so fast. That was a first.

***

You pushed a couple of the empty pizza boxes further along your coffee table, putting your laptop down and getting back under the blanket you had thrown across the couch. "So, you seen any Strassman?"

Sans sipped at his hot chocolate, engulfed in his own pile of blankets next to you. "uh.. dun think so. wassit?"

"Ventriloquist. I think you might like him." You said as you brought up your video player. "I can see it being your kinda humor."

"ya got m' interested." He smirked, shuffling in a bit closer to you and the laptop. For a skeleton, he was actually quite warm. Like a cat..

"well, ya gonna hit play, or?"

"Oh! Right.."

You pressed play and picked up your own hot chocolate from the table, leaning back into the cushions of your couch to watch.

He seemed to enjoy the show, and you could tell by how hard he was laughing that Chuck was his favourite. Bingo.

You'd already watched the shows many many times, so your mind began to wander halfway through.

"summat on ya mind?"

You shook your head, looking back over at Sans, who was watching you intently, a frown on his face. "Oh? Yeah, nah, I'm fine. You enjoying the show?"

The grin he sent you was sheepish. "tell th' truth, i been more watchin' ya fer the past 10 minutes.. was gettin' worried."

"I was just thinking that.. Y'know, you're not actually bad company. Quite the opposite, when your not cracking off jokes or having women suck you off under the table of a crowded restaurant."

"heh, yeah. fucked up copin' mechanisms is m' middle name.." He finally looked back at the screen, but he wasn't really paying much attention. "y've always been good company."

"Even though all I do is feed you mustard and call you a creep.."

He pushed you with his arm under the layers of blankets. "but i am. not gonna deny tha'.. m' sorry fer always makin' ya so uncomfortable. guess i'm so used t' flirtin' wi' the ladies like tha', i dunno how t' do it properly when i actually wanna.. y'know.. court ya.."

His head disappeared into the blankets and floof of his jacket, the bones still visible a dark shade of red.

He wanted to court- Oh. Your own face felt overly warm. For being such a skeevy little weirdo, he was, well, he was actually kind of cute, and sweet. In his own weird way.

You put down your mug, and put your arm around the warm pile of blankets that housed him. He went stock still, but eventually he slowly pushed himself towards you, resting his head against you.

"Just.. Maybe think of a better pet name than 'sweetcheeks', okay?"

A grumble came from the blanket burrito, before he sighed. "fine, fine. no more sweetcheeks.. can i call ya kitten instead?"

"I guess I can live with that." You sighed, resting your head down against his skull as he- was he purring? 

 

"heh, hows about dollface?"

"Pushing it, Sansy."

".. god damnit."

**Author's Note:**

> Have a bit of angsty fluff. :3
> 
> (Also, [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZWxoHtAwRc) is a snippet of the show they were watching.)
> 
> Find me over on [tumblr](https://wannabuyahotcat.tumblr.com/). :D


End file.
